When Winston Churchill visited Liverpool to watch the Beatles play the Cavern in 1966, he carried with him a copy of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book by Chuck Berry. That’s all very interesting and it reminds me of the old saying a great deal of laziness of mind is called liberty of opinion. And I’ve got plenty of those.

Talking of non-entities masquerading as something of significance, my old dog Woofley has not been his usual obedient self this week. Maybe he’s dog tired, but he hasn’t even found the energy to fetch a bone, which was still attached to a criminal’s leg. Has his recent torpor been down to age or sheer laziness?

I foolishly found myself in a courtroom this week (looking for a biro) and before I had time to back out again (with a biro) I couldn’t help but notice how young the barristers are getting. One such mite looked like he’d lost his pencil case when I admonished him for his tardiness. I would have gone further, but I didn’t want him bringing his dad in to crack me one on one of my chins.

Ageing, folks, is not one of life’s thrills. As my favourite mathematician Alan Turing said in his 1940 Computers, Spam and Chips: “The later one is, the more likely one if to miss what one is expecting to meat (sic) when one gets there. Time in effect waits for no man and man is not meat after all.” Desmond Morris also had a good line in his book The Naked Chicken, but I forget what that was.

Lazy is as lazy does. I read that on the back of a cereal packet. It continues next week, apparently.

But that is another of life’s great truisms. One judge (let’s call him Judge X this week had a dig at the alleged slack attitude of another. When a barrister asked Judge X to apologise to Judge Y over lunch because she had been held up in Judge X’s court mitigating in a sentence, Judge X said of Judge Y: “Oh he will have gone home by now.” And it was only 1.20pm. Even I don’t slope off to my gentleman’s club until at least 2.15pm.

I have to agree with Judge X. Judge Y lives in Wales and won’t even put his nose out the door if there’s a sniff of cold in the air, claiming he’s been snowed in. When he does come in he lets; defendants go free because he can’t be bothered waiting for a trial to start.

Doesn’t he realise time - like ageing waits for no-one? Albert Einstein had a theory about time - I forget what it was now - but I’ll recommend the old judge gives it a read.

Now how did it get round to 2.15pm? Time flies, according to the Romans.

• Post to:
•  del.icio.us
•  Digg
•  Newsvine
•  Nowpublic
•  Reddit